Women in the Ramayana
We think women were marginalized and treated as second-class in ancient times. However, the inferior status of women is more true today than in Vedic society. The status of women today is vastly different from that in Vedic times, and unfortunately, not for the better. Studying our Vedic shastras was eye-opening for me. The Ramayana and the Mahabharata amazed me at the respect women commanded in the past. For instance, when Rama is ready to depart for the forest, Guru Vasishta suggests Sita stay back and rule in his place.
Women participated as equals in Vedic society, and mistreating a woman was seen as a serious crime. This sense of gender equality stems from Vedanta, which teaches the principle of oneness. Everything we observe is a manifestation of universal consciousness. Whether you are male or female, you are fundamentally the same Brahman. This belief in gender equality is embodied in Shiva as Ardhanareshwara, a form that is half male and half female.
I admire Valmiki's depiction of Sita. She is a woman of substance, the epitome of fidelity, resilience, and sacrifice, yet remains confident, assertive, and self-assured. Rama and Sita are portrayed as two hearts beating as one, and their marriage is based on equality. When Raja Janaka places her hand in Rama's during the panigrahana ceremony, he says: "My daughter Sita will be your sahadharmachari—an equal partner in dharma." Sita fulfilled this role as a counterpart and best friend in their relationship. She loved and respected her husband just as he did her, but she never walked meekly two steps behind Rama, obeying him without question.
When Rama is exiled and tells Sita he is leaving for the forest and she should stay in Ayodhya, she pushes back and argues that, as his partner in life, it is dharma for her to go with him.
In the forest, when Rama promises the Rishis that he will rid Janasthana of Rakshasas, Sita questions his decision. She advises him that the shastras teach us not to attack those who have not caused us harm, and that the Rakshasas have not hurt them. They discuss the dharma of his actions, and Sita only agrees when Rama convinces her of the righteousness of protecting the innocent.
Ravana puts the world at Sita's feet, yet she rejects every offer because she is fiercely loyal to her husband. Also, Sita could have escaped from Lanka with Hanuman, but stuck to her principles of propriety, insisting that Rama should be the one to rescue her. With this decision, Sita also looked beyond herself; she knew Ravana needed to be punished so he would never repeat his crime.
The agnipariksha that Rama is criticized for today was entirely Sita's decision. 'Chitam me kuru Soumitre'—build me a pyre, Lakshmana—she says as she boldly walks through fire to prove herself to the world. The text makes it clear that Rama created a situation for Sita to publicly declare her purity by pretending to reject her. He did this to prevent her from facing hateful comments when they returned to Ayodhya. In the epic, Rama clarifies that he never doubted Sita for a moment and only wanted to protect her from hurtful words. Sita chose to undergo a test as tough as an agnipariksha on her own free will, showing her brave and daring spirit.
Finally, when Lakshmana left Sita at Valmiki's ashram, Sita's reaction showed her inner strength. Of course, it was upsetting for Sita to be separated from Rama, especially when they loved each other deeply, but as someone who understood dharma, she knew the importance of respecting the people's will.
Sita teaches us to love and sacrifice while staying assertive and maintaining our principles and self-worth.
Let us look at the women in the Ramayana, aside from Sita:
None were faint-hearted. Dasharatha's three principal queens were powerful in their own way. Kaikeyi was self-willed, feisty, and a skilled warrior. Kaushalya was learned in the Shastras and had remarkable resilience. Sumitra was blessed with practical wisdom and strength of character.
Soopanakha was bold to the point of being brash. Manthara was pushy and got her way.
Vali's wife, Tara, and Ravana's wife, Mandodari, were wise women. Had their husbands listened to their counsel, they might not have been killed.
Shabri and Vedavati were rishikas who attained a high level of spirituality through their austerities.
The Ramayana's portrayal of female characters highlights the difference between self-absorbed and altruistic, aggressive and assertive, and manipulative and sincere. For instance, we see the contrast between Kaikeyi and Sita. Both had strong personalities. Kaikeyi is described as atma kama sada chandi—self-absorbed and rageful, whereas Sita is vishuddha trishu lokeshu—purest of the pure in the three worlds.
The Ramayana teaches women to be like Sita, not Kaikeyi. Assertively stand your ground, but at the same time, be warm and unselfish.